Today, my husband and I hit a roadblock. We moved from a secure little island where we lived off the land and had the security of a home and family. We moved to a town that we did not know in hopes to expand our experiences and expose my children to the a new lifestyle.

Before I realized moving to a town we didn’t know anyone, I was enthusiastic to meet new people and explore my surroundings. I have never been one to be bogged down by “material” items. I guest you would call me a traveler. Never before have I understood the need to stay in one place and just die there. I couldn’t imagine myself living in such a sad state. It’s perfectly fine for people that like that sort of thing. LOL

My loving husband is that sort of person. He likes and thrives on not changing a single things. If he could have it his way, he would be still on that little island living the rest of his days in a secure environment. I love his spirit🙂

Today we fought about finances and security. Being the go getter I am I was ready to plunge into anything and hope to heck it was the right decision, my husband on the other hand stood his ground on wanting security and the desire to go back home to the islands.

I would like to say our disagreement went as planned or we collectively came up with a plan however, we are further apart then ever before.

Security in a blended family can be a fight. It can become so large that it could possibly break your family apart. My husband and I are not strangers to the uncomfortable discussions, but we do understand fighting fairly.

We walked to our separate corners and are taking a moment to grab our thoughts. He takes comfort in talking to his family. I take comfort in doing a blog post. Whatever the need, calm your mind and thoughts. I know this will go better as soon as we calm down and revisit this in a non confrontational manner.

Never be afraid to speak your mind!

Geraldine Russ-Mcleod, Sassy Stepmom

The Evil Stepmother Character

The Evil Stepmother Character

Once upon a time there was a lovely lady that met a lovely man. They fell madly and hopelessly in love. They looked at their future with bright eyes and unlimited potential.

Are you there? Are you envisioning this moment? Can you feel the love and devotion to one another?

It was time to “Meet the Kids”

When you’re a budding stepmom, everything seems like a magical fairy tale filled with fairy dust and animals singing. (LOL) Little do you know that you are actually the villain in the story.

Most times when a blended family starts out the SKs (Stepkids) are shared. A schedule is in place for visitation. Or the BD (Biological Dad) has them full time. Either way the BM (Biological Mom – Not to be mistaken for Bowel Movement) is usually very present in the child’s life, unless specified.

The SKs will have a somewhat neutral stance at first, maybe even connecting with you on a very small way. They may even like you. In fact, my SKs were super excited because we all went camping and they loved how fun everything was. Then they realized that I was now the “Stepmonster” and our relationship changed. So at first you may be the most fun person the kids have been around in a long time. And the BM probably knows about you but doesn’t say anything just yet. The SKs come bouncing home after a weekend at daddy’s house, kids are happily telling their mother how much fun they had with daddy’s new girlfriend. Most times, the BM will decide at that moment that she now HATES you. The SKs see that their mother is tense and may even cry. The SKs now feel guilt for having fun, may even say they didn’t have very much fun anyway. Their enthusiasm is now lowered. The BM at this point has a decision to either tell the kids its perfectly ok to have have fun and be honest about her feelings but does not reflect on the kids. This stance is makes it ok to build a healthy relationship with the SM. On the other hand the BM can respond with resentment, anger or manipulation. Which then further damages the relationship between SKs and SMs.

When I first became a stepmom, there was so much tension and anger the SKs refused to be around me. They hid away or argued with their dad so they didn’t have to come over. BD was so heartbroken and confused. He had a very close relationship with his children. Once his children started confessing to him that their BM was saying things to them about their time with us, he confronted the BM. At this point, you must understand that a BD must stand up against the parental alienation and confront the BM. It took YEARS to create some sort of stability with the SKs.

One of the biggest successes for us as a couple was our willingness and commitment to communicate with each other. Even when it was difficult, we talked. We decided as a couple to consistently love ALL our children. We focused on communication and openness with one another.

My point of this blog post is to help you understand that you are on a journey filled with ups and downs. But it is worth it! Being a stepparent is adventurous and fun.

Be present in their lives as much as possible. And never give up.


Much Love,

Geraldine Russ-Mcleod- The Sassy Stepmom